One thing that’s always bemused me is when people say they have fomo. I just think I suffer from the opposite of that, because saying no and missing out on things is something I never worry about. Definitely part of me being an introverted little blogger, but saying no to things I don’t want to do means my precious free-time is exactly that. Mine. An ex-colleague said to me, in a very passive aggressive way, how good I was at saying no and not doing things I don’t want to do. I just don’t think putting my interests first is a bad thing! Especially now that I’m working for myself, I’ve been thinking about why saying no isn’t a negative thing.
Saying no leaves you with more time to do things you really want to say yes to
I think the fear of saying no comes from this idea of wanting to be a people-pleaser and make everyone happy. Whilst I completely support making the effort to be nice to people, you don’t have to bend over backwards for everyone else and put your happiness last. Five good excuses for saying no? Working on your personal growth. Spending time to relax and recharge. Your mental health needs a break. You’ve got money to make. Your hair isn’t going to wash itself… Just think of all the reclaimed time you could have back when you start saying no to the things you don’t like. If there’s 24 hours in a day with 12 spent at work and 8 hours sleeping that’s a mere 4 hours to spend doing the things you want to do. Basic maths makes me say no.
Saying no means you value your time more
Our time is so very important. You can never get it back! When someone emails you a very tempting offer to blog about an infographic for free, you can say no. When someone invites you to a party when you’d much rather be at home working on your side hustle, you can say no. A friend who only messages you when they want something asks for a favour, you can say no. It’s the little things where you appreciate your own worth and say no to energy-draining tasks that make such a difference to your happiness in the long run.
Saying no means you’re not going to flake
One thing I read in Alexandra Schulman’s book is that she only ever RSVPs yes if she’s genuinely going to go to said event. Saying yes and then changing your mind at the last minute is something I’m pretty good at, so I’m trying to change that. Any invitations that I say yes to, I really want to go to them. It just means you’re not wasting anyone’s time.
Saying no means you understand how to prioritise
The only person in charge of your life, and your actions, is you. If you take too much on, it’s pretty much all on you if things start to slip. If you’re debating whether to agree or disagree, it’s good to have your end goals in mind; figuring out what helps you do what makes you happy is such an important life skill. When it comes to me prioritising, it mostly comes down to two factors – having the time to work on my blog and making sure I spend enough time with Chris. Anything that interferes with those two factors gets a… no.
Are you #TeamNo?
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